long nag

to care for someone is easy. to love someone is easy. to trust someone is easy. but to stay with someone to the rest of your life is not an easy task. to love someone and willing to go through thick and thin, the good and bad of love is not easy. and to gain trust that is lost along the way is never easy. it takes time, patience and also believing to go succeed.

we always hear, accept the person for who he or she is. but its human nature. human is born with curiosity, we will start to ask questions when we dont understand or could not find the logic of it. but sometimes this questions leads to a place whereby it gives a non-satisfactionary to the person itself.

i myself happen to have this curiosity. i do question a lot and yes im good in this. y do i do it? cause i wanna know. i wanna know so that i know and remind myself what path have i choose and what i have put myself into. i can be very persuasive or sometimes very understanding. i have to say that i have double personality.

i dont know what life offer me in the next few years or even tomorrow. i may get married and have a family or i might not get married and just be somebody who concentrates in career. i never know.

but i know that marriage is far away. dont get me wrong. i love kids, i really do. but at the moment, i have to say that im not ready for any of it. im still learning what life is and what love do. im still trying to understand the beauty of love and what marriage is. yes, i sound frustrated.

but i dont want to rush thing and end up sad. i just want a happy life.

i still dream of a family. me and my husband. with our children living happily. im just waiting for everything to be right. right man, right place, right time and right decision. ohhh~ i dream too much.

anarchy give birth

my kitty (not so kitty anymore, she's a mommy)
give birth to 4 cute babies
additional family in the house
woot woot!

pagi 3 ramadhan

pagi pagi bangun dah sedih
nothing on display phone
sahur ngan mama, adam and nasuha
lepas sahur tido
bangun kol 6.30
mandi
iron baju kurung
make up
start engine keta
tba2 sakit perut
...

adam, alan and nasuha salam sblom balik
salam mama
mama nampak sedih
dlm hati sendiri lagi sedih
drive
sampai bawah rumah
tgk and lambai mama

lalu dekat jalan rumah mak tam
nampak kubur papa
7.15 am
rasa nak pegi lawat
masuk lorong g tanah perkuburan
takde tudung
pakai hood sweater
pg kat kubur papa
kubur papa warna hijau
hijau marma
terus nangis
lama sangat tak pgi
last masa raya
sedekah al-fatihah
nangis lagi
rindu sangat papa
bgtau pasal convo dan apa yg mampu
sedih dan rindu
singgah kubur pak tam
sedekah alfatihah

start engine keta
pg mobil kat tampin
isi minyak
ingat nak tambah nilai
tp tak bukak lagi
kol 9 baru bukak
maka, drive terus g sungai buloh
9.16 am
sampai office

semalam adalah sejarah
hari ini adalah realiti
esok adalah misteri

otak pusing

masih di kampung
mama pg semayang tarawikh
adam, alan and nasuha tgh main apa ntah kat atas
aku duduk mengadap laptop (kena jadi nanny sebenarnya)

otak pusing
mama x sihat
kisah hidup xdela best sangat
esok lepas sahur nak drive balik kl,
kereja

adoi
penatla macam nie
dah malas dah nak pk apa2
cume mahukan

......

i trully give up

tiada

ke hulu ke hilir memegang phone
setiap saat nak tgk display phone
kot kot kalau ada apa-apa
tp tiada

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